John and the moon left this madness unexorcised. No trace of it was revealed except when she was taunted:
“Aren’t you interested in war news, don’t you read the papers?”
“I know war, I know all about war.”
“You never seem very close to it.”
(I slept with war, all night I slept with war once. I received deep war wounds into my body, as you never did, a feat of arms for which I will never be decorated!)
— A Spy In The House Of Love, Anais Nin
that quote is dedicated to the captain.